Jusqu'ici tout va bien

If you’ve been following me for a while now, you’ve probably seen my earlier posts where I had documented my French language journey. Little by little, I’m becoming less fearful of making mistakes

Chryssa Romanos, “Serigraphy, Some Pages from a Diary” (1973). Photo taken in July 2024 from the National Museum of Contemporary Arts Athens exhibition “The Search for Happiness for as Many as Possible”

Salut ! J’espère que tout va bien. Tu vas remarquer que j’ai commencé ce post en français. Je vais t’expliquer pourquoi.

Récemment, je me suis rendu compte que cela faisait presque trois ans que je suis arrivé et que j’ai déménagé ici en France, plus précisément à Montpellier. Pendant ces années, j'ai vraiment essayé de m’intégrer : j’ai étudié sérieusement la langue et j’ai aussi tenté de me faire des amis. J’avoue que ça n’a pas été facile. En tant qu’introverti, créer des liens amicaux n’est pas mon point fort.

Malgré cela, je crois en ma capacité à m’adapter, à faire évoluer mes habitudes et mon caractère. Je me dis que je pourrais changer la direction de ma vie si je me concentrais sur les aspects que je n’aime pas. Habituellement, nous construisons une certaine histoire de nous-mêmes et nous essayons de la protéger, car elle nous permet de conserver une image cohérente de notre identité. Pourtant, l’évolution n’est pas une ligne droite. Le changement exige de l’adaptation. Ceux qui ne s’adaptent pas rapidement risquent d’être dépassés par les autres.

Pour cette nouvelle année, je me suis promis d’être plus conscient des choses qu’il faut lâcher et de celles qu’il faut conserver. En fait, je suis plutôt optimiste à l’idée de découvrir les nouvelles opportunités qui m’attendent. J’ai quelques objectifs pour cette année, comme réussir l’examen du niveau B2 et, enfin, obtenir la nationalité française. Pourquoi ? Pour plusieurs raisons, mais la principale, c’est d’ouvrir plus de portes. C’est excitant, je te le promets.

(Pour être honnête, j’ai utilisé un traducteur en ligne pour raffiner mon écriture, mais je ne l’ai pas beaucoup modifiée.)

*

If you’ve been following me for a while now, you’ve probably seen my earlier posts where I had documented my French language journey. I know I’ve progressed much even if it doesn’t feel like it. The other day I went to the doctor and she asked me whether I wanted to talk in French or English, and I said I could try speaking en français. (Nothing serious, I was having a problem breathing through my right nose and we had a ten-minute conversation talking about whether I got punched in the face as a kid, among other medical questions.) At the end of the checkup, she said: well your French is great. I was glowing with pride on the way out of the clinic.

While from time to time I still obsess about the faults I commit (I remember saying “prioritiser” instead of “prioriser” while doing my service one Saturday morning at La Cagette – I was grasping for English words with Latin roots to get my point across), I am overcoming my fear of committing mistakes. I told my French teacher Karen about one incident I had at Galerie LaFayette where the cashier made me repeat the word “quinze” over and over as he feigned not comprehending what I was saying, and she told me that there will always be people who take intense pleasure in another person’s humiliation. Jerks will be jerks, there’s no use proving yourself to them.

She also told me to accept my accent. Some French learners try to erase their accent in the hope that they will sound more natural. Years ago I did the same with my English subconsciously, trying to lose the sing-song way I spoke it in favor of the neutral (read: American) accent. The way one spoke English in Philippine society was often seen a signal of one’s status, so for those who belonged to lower socioeconomic classes, there was an unspoken pressure to communicate in a way that made us look like we didn’t belong with the great unwashed. (To paraphrase that famous quote, majority of Filipinos don’t see themselves as exploited proletariats but temporarily embarrassed millionaires. Perhaps that’s why we won’t see a Pinoy Luigi Mangione anytime soon.)

(Speaking of accents: this app helps identify your English accent. While it correctly identified I was Filipino, I managed to fool it by imagining I’m speaking in French.)

A part of me is arguing in my head that making my accent sound more naturally French will make me integrate better, but my inner skeptic thinks that that belief is internalized racism and classism. A rigid prescription of language (cough Academié Française cough) risks condemning it to death, as a language must evolve and adapt if it wishes to include more speakers. We see how the French language is undergoing a major shift as more Africans speak the language than the French themselves – an interesting development which, try hard as the French might to combat, is inevitable. (Funnily, the once-oppressed are using the weapon of their former colonizers, now clutching their pearls in terror.)

In a sense, my unique voice is contributing to that evolution. As a communicator by profession, I am enjoying how I’m expanding my capacity to express myself in a new way. I’m still very excited to see where this journey leads to.

P.S. Here’s a translation of what I said earlier –

Hi! I hope all is well. You'll notice that I started this post in French. I'll explain why.

Recently, I realized that it's been almost three years since I arrived and moved here to France, more precisely to Montpellier. During these years, I've really tried to integrate: I've studied the language seriously and I've also tried to make friends. I admit it wasn't easy. As an introvert, making friends is not my strong point.

Despite this, I believe in my ability to adapt, to change my habits and my character. I tell myself that I could change the direction of my life if I focused on the aspects I don't like. Usually, we build up a certain story about ourselves and try to protect it, as it allows us to maintain a coherent image of who we are. But evolution is not a straight line. Change requires adaptation. Those who don't adapt quickly risk being overtaken by others.

For this new year, I've promised myself to be more aware of what to let go of and what to keep. In fact, I'm quite optimistic about the new opportunities that await me. I have a few goals for this year, such as passing the B2 exam and, finally, obtaining French nationality. Why should I do this? For several reasons, but the main one is to open more doors. It's exciting, I promise.

(To be honest, I used an online translator to refine my writing, but I didn't change it much).